I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
