I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
