I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
