Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
