party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
