once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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