My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
