I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Floor bacon is actually really good
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
