Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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