My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
