Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
