So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
