How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
