so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
