Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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