I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
