my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
