just tell him i said nine months
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
