Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
