So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
