I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
