i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize