Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
