Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
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