What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
