She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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