She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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