just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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