i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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