I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
