she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Houston, we have a blender
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
