So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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