I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
