names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
