I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
