I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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