You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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