but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
