Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
