My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
