Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My ass is underappreciated
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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