I want to stick my p in your. b.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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