but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
