That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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