Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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