White coat. Heels.
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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