Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
