True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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