if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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