I wish i was in the wii world.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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