I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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