your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
