You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize