Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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