Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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