some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
