well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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