Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
