My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
