I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
