Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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