Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
