pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
the vacuum is drunk
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
