thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
this will be a night to untag.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
