I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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