I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
