I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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